ECLIPSED
by sarathescholar
Summary: A fanfiction based around an OC and Kingdom Heart's Organization XIII. All members are mentioned and included at some point. Spent most of summer writing this. : DISCLAIMER: I do not own KH or any of the used lyrics. Prop of respective owners
1. Chapter 1 Birth

"I was born amidst the purple waterfalls.  
I was weak, yet not unblessed.  
Dead to the world. Alive for the journey.  
One night I dreamt a white rose withering,  
a newborn drowning, a lifetime loneliness.  
I dreamt all my future. Relived my past.  
A witnessed the beauty of the beast."

--"Bless the Child", Nightwish

**Chapter I**

The heart-shaped moon shone down on the vacant city streets. Skyscraper lights and flickering neon signs cast eerie shadows across the asphalt. The only sounds to be heard were the echoing voices of two cloaked men.

The shorter of the two, a blonde teenager with a mullet, gestured energetically as he talked. His companion, a lanky redhead with spiked hair, laughed now and then as he walked.

"So then Larxene starts screaming like crazy," continued the blonde, "and when Lexaeus tries to squash the roach, I say '_No, don't kill Larxene's momma!_'"

The redhead folded his arms. "Demyx, man, if Lexaeus wasn't there Larxene would've beaten the snot outta you."

"What? No way, Axel! I could take her!"

"Lightning beats water."

"Whatever! Water drowns cockroach."

"Water doesn't kill roaches, idiot!"

Their laughter echoed through the night air.

"We should head back soon," commented Axel. He jabbed a thumb at the clock tower. "It's 11:30. Curfew's at midnight. Got it memo-"

"Hey look!" Demyx suddenly pointed down a narrow alleyway.

Axel rolled his eyes in annoyance-if there was one thing he hated, it was being interrupted.

Three black catlike creatures with glowing yellow eyes huddled at the end of the alley. Wisps of black and purple smoke hung over them. They sniffed at a limp figure sprawled across the ground.

"Heartless?" Axel exclaimed. "Oh, come _on_!"

The two darted down the alley preparing to fight the intruders. With a flick of his wrists, Axel summoned a pair of flaming Chakrams.

"Water!" Demyx cried, throwing his hand into the air. Torrents of water materialized to form a blue sitar in his hand.

"Dance, water, dance!" As Demyx plucked the sitar's strings, a wall of water shot up and hit one of the Heartless––it vanished into thin air. Axel swung a Chakram. It boomeranged and sliced through the remaining creatures, banishing them.

"Woo, burn, baby!" Axel yowled. After catching his breath, he turned his attention to Demyx. The blonde was examining the lifeless figure on the ground. It seemed to be the source of the blackish-purple smoke, even though it was clothed in white.

Axel dismissed his Chakrams and walked over to Demyx. "What is it?" he asked.

"It's…it's a girl!" Demyx gently pulled the raven hair away from her closed eyes. Her face was pale and cold. It seemed that the smoke, which Axel could identify as darkness, was seething from a wound on her left side.

"Aw, poor thing!" Demyx cooed. "What should we do with her?"

"I dunno! It's past curfew! Crap, Xemnas is gonna be _so _pissed. Just leave it. Or open up a portal and throw it in. "

"What? Axel, that's rude! I know! Let's take her to the Superior! That way, we'll have an excuse for being late."

"I guess that'll work." Axel groaned. "Ugh, what a pain." He scooped the girl up in his arms and threw her over his shoulder.

___

"Numbers Eight and Nine are late, Superior," growled Saïx. He scowled in disdain and crossed his arms.

"I realize that," said Xemnas, who was sitting at a large white marble desk and reading. Long blonde hair fell down into his face as he read the Sunday comics. Not that anything made Xemnas laugh-he was reading comics out of boredom. The Superior had almost resorted to reading "Little Orphan Annie" when the door to his office swung open.

"You're late for curfew!" Saïx barked at the newcomers. "Superior is very disappointed in you."

"'_Superior is very disappointed in you_,'" Axel mocked in a whiney tone. "Don't piss your pants, we're here."

"And we found something!" Demyx piped. He pointed to the humanoid figure slung over Axel's shoulder.

"I see that," Xemnas said calmly.

Saïx glowered at Axel. "Why did you bring it _here_? How dare you! It could be a danger to the Superior!"

"Can it," Axel said.

"It's a girl we rescued from some Heartless," Demyx explained.

Xemnas cocked his head in mild curiosity at the darkness misting up around the girl's body. "Bring her to my desk."

Axel set her down on the marble desk. Xemnas examined the odd formation of gashes on her left side. They oozed darkness instead of blood––a curious phenomenon. He put an ear to her bosom. In spite of the absence of a heartbeat, she was breathing. Xemnas's head snapped up in recognition.

"She's a Nobody."


	2. Chapter 2

Today I am dirty

I want to be pretty

Tomorrow, I know I'm just dirt

Today I am dirty

I want to be pretty

Tomorrow, I know I'm just dead

We are the Nobodies

Wanna be Somebodies

We're dead

We know just who we are

--Marilyn Manson, "The Nobodies"

**Chapter II**

The first thing she felt when she regained consciousness was a sharp aching in her chest, as if she'd been running for a long time. The second thing she felt was something sticking her in the arm.

"Ow!" she tried to say, but something in her throat-a tube, she realized-made her cough.

"Ach!" she choked. She opened her eyes and found herself face to face with a bizarre character in a white coat. He had long matted dirty blonde hair, a thin face, and wide green eyes.

"Oho! She is awake, Superior!" squealed a high-pitched voice.

A tall, dark man in a black cloak grunted from beside her. He was carefully pulling an IV out of her arm.

"Just a moment, Superior," said the doctor. "She may need more medication!"

The man peeked at the doctor from under his long, blonde bangs. "_More_ medication? Vexen, are you trying to kill her?"

Vexen gawked at him indignantly and reached for the tube. "Well, perhaps we should ask her?"

The tube was suddenly pulled out of the girl's mouth. She gagged and coughed. Her mouth and throat felt very dry…What she wouldn't do for some water!

"So, dearie! How do you feel?" Vexen said, giving her a creepy smile.

"Thirsty," she rasped. She glanced nervously at her surroundings, which she recognized to be a hospital room.

Vexen looked somewhat disappointed, but proceeded to exit the room for some water.

The other man sat down in a chair next to her. "Hello. My name is Xemnas. Can you tell me your name?"

"I…" she started, but realize that, for the life of her, she couldn't recall what her name was. In fact, she couldn't remember _anything_ that had happened before she regained consciousness. All she remembered were the few moments before her death.

–––

She'd been walking along the top of a tower for some reason, when she heard someone walking behind her. She turned, but saw no one.

_"Heart…dark…"_

She swerved around in horror, but again found she was alone.

_"…HEART…WANT HEART…"_

"Is this some kind of joke?!" she yelled at the voice. "Because I don't think it's very funny!"

_"Hyuk hyuk hyuk" _laughed the voice. And suddenly, a monstrous horned creature appeared before her. She stumbled backwards and screeched.

–––

"I can't remember," she replied to the man named Xemnas.

"I was afraid of that," he said, rubbing his eyes.

"Where am I?"

"In the infirmary of Organization XIII's headquarters."

What? Had…had she been _kidnapped_?

"What are you _talking _about?" she gasped.

"Let's not get hysterical!" said the shrill voice of Vexen.

"What the hell is going on?! Take me home!"

Vexen shoved a glass of water into her hands. She greedily gulped it down.

"You're _welcome_. And, speaking of such, _welcome_ to the Castle that Never Was," the 'doctor' squealed. The girl shuddered at his shrill laugh.

Xemnas glared at him with piercing gold eyes. "Be silent, Vexen, you'll just frighten her."

Vexen leapt back involuntarily, cowering.

Xemnas ignored him and turned to the bed. "You have no reason to be afraid, girl. We won't hurt you. Just calm down. I'll try to explain things. Vexen, stay silent.

"First of all, you are here because two of our members saved you from a pack of Heartless. They brought you here so you could be treated. We _did not _kidnap you.

"Second of all, I don't know where your home is, and neither do you. So this will probably become your new home. Third of all, I can safely conclude that you are not a human. You are a Nobody, like everyone in our Organization. You are the soul and body of a person who has lost her heart."

The girl leaned back against her pillow. Heartless? _Nobody_? No heart? An organization? She was so confused that she wanted nothing more than to break down in tears. But for whatever reason, the tears refused to come.

"I d-don't understand…" she quavered.

"You will," assured Xemnas. "You seem well enough to be out of the infirmary. I will assign you a mentor to guide you for a few weeks. You will understand eventually." He turned to Vexen. "Don't do anything stupid."

With a wave of his hand, he summoned a swirling portal of black. He stepped into the circle after bidding the girl "farewell" and vanished in a puff of black and purple smoke.

Vexen faced her with an almost hungry expression. "Now then. Before you leave. Are you sure you don't want any medication?"


	3. Chapter 3

Our lives were good in everyway  
Too late, time after time  
Our love just turned to hate…  
but we stayed by each other's side

We pushed our buttons far inside  
We tear our hearts out  
then we fight…

--KoRn, "Everything I've Known"

**Chapter III**

"The Superior wishes to see you. Are you ready?"

The girl nodded. Vexen had given her a change of clothes and a black robe like the one Xemnas had been wearing. The robe didn't fit her very well.

"Why do I have to wear this?" she grumbled.

"Because, if you don't, you'll be eaten alive by the darkness or be mistaken as an outsider! Now come along."

He summoned a portal of darkness and pulled her in along with him. Within seconds, they'd reappeared in front of a large white door.

"In there," Vexen opened the door and nudged her forward. She turned to snap at him for pushing her, but he had vanished.

She found herself in a large office. The white walls were lined with bookshelves and a few paintings. Xemnas was sitting behind a marble desk, fingering a thin black book.

"Good afternoon. How are your wounds healing?"

"Okay."

Xemnas motioned to a cushioned chair. "Have a seat."

The girl winced as she eased herself into the chair. Even though it'd been bandaged and treated well, her chest ached horribly.

"So…" Xemnas began. "I wanted to speak to you concerning a….proposition."

The girl remained silent. Xemnas continued. "I would like you to join our Organization."

Her eyes widened in shock. "…Me? Why?"

"Where would you go from here? Nowhere. You have no home. No family. And on your own, the Heartless would easily overtake you. Here, you have shelter, medicine. You can heal and train, become stronger. You have great potential."

The girl thought for a moment. Join this shady Organization? How could she? She knew nothing about them…but they couldn't be so bad, could they? They'd saved her. And where _would _she go? She didn't even know where she was _now_…

"Yes. Yes, I'll join."

Xemnas appeared satisfied. "Good, good. That makes everything easier." He handed her the black book. On the cover, the words "Mysteries of the Heart" where embossed in silver. A splintered upside-down heart glittered beneath the title.

"Study it," the Superior said. "It contains everything you need to know about the Organization and the world we live in. I've assigned a mentor to help you gather your bearings here. He should arrive shortly. Tonight you will be inducted, and tomorrow you will begin training. Do you understand?"

"Yes," she lied in a small voice.

There was a sharp knock on the office door.

"Enter," said Xemnas.

A tall, thin man with crimson red hair and dark green eyes walked in. His brows were furrowed in annoyance. He gave a short bow and glanced at the girl. She avoided his gaze, embarrassed by his apparent reluctance to mentor her.

"This is Axel. He'll be your mentor for the next few weeks. Axel, this is….oh, now I haven't given you a name yet, have I?" He stroked his chin in thought. "…Your name will be…Xaras. Axel, this is Xaras. You will guide her. Do not lose sight of her. You know what will happen if you do. And make sure she is at Where Nothing Gathers by eight tonight."

"Yessir," grumbled Axel.

____

"This is the Hall of Melodies…that hallway leads to Naught's Skyway…" Axel was giving Xaras a tour of the Castle that Never Was. She walked numbly beside him wishing she could remember who she was and where she'd come from, so she wouldn't have to resort to joining some cult. She'd been told by Xemnas that Nobodies were not capable of feeling emotion––why then, was she having trouble not crying?

"And here's the lounge," said Axel, dragging her into what resembled small mall. They were greeted by the curious faces of cloaked figures scattered throughout the chamber. "Here you can watch TV, read, play video games, drink coffee, snack, and whatever else you wanna do during your free time."

The stares of the others made Xaras feel awkward.

"Who's that?" She heard a woman mumble.

"New girl," said a gruff voice.

"Whatcha lookin' at?" Axel growled at the voice's owner––a tall man with a black and white ponytail. An eyepatch covered his right eye. Sitting nearby was a short-haired blonde girl with antennae-like hairs sprouting from her head. She glared at Xaras.

The man with the patch threw his hands up. "Hey, Axel man, I get it. We won't bug her."

Out of earshot, Axel said, "That was Xigbar. He looks scary, but he's really cool when he's not eavesdropping or shooting stuff. The girl was Larxene. She's a bitch and has permanent PMS. Avoid her at all costs, got it memorized?"

Xaras nodded as they entered a small café. A bulky redhead with tanned skin sat at one table, talking to a kid with gray sidebangs. Close by, a blonde bearded man played cards with a short spiky-haired boy.

"That's Lexaeus." Axel pointed to the tanned guy. "He's a meathead. Count on anything you tell him going out the other ear. The boy next to him is Zexion, the brains. The dude playing cards is Luxord. He may look innocent enough, but don't play poker with him. Especially since you're a girl…My buddy Roxas is playing cards with him. He was the newbie before you."

As they exited the coffee shop they were ambushed by a grinning man with long, pink hair.

"Hey there!" he chimed. He gave Xaras a gentle hug. She noticed that he carried a pleasant scent of flowers.

"Marluxia!" Axel groaned. "Get off her!"

Marluxia pulled back and beamed at her. "I'm Marluxia! Welcome to Organization XIII!" He examined a strand of Xaras's hair and scoffed. "God, these split ends! We'll have to get together and do something about them! And that white stripe at your roots? Ugh! We can fix that, too!"

"MARLUXIA, SCRAM!!"

"Okay, okay, spoil-sport!" He gave Xaras a friendly wave goodbye. "See you around?"

Xaras laughed––her first laugh since joining the Organization. "Sure."

"That was _Marluxia_," growled Axel. He put a disgusted emphasis on _Marluxia_. "He's…well…he's Marluxia. That's the only way to put it."

He gestured towards a group of couches surrounding a wide-screen TV. "Demyx, the village idiot, is usually over there playing _Sitar Hero_. Dunno where he is now. Must be on a mis-"

Axel was violently tackled from behind by a blonde teen with a spiky mullet. "Hey, Axel! I see you're babysitting?"

"DAMMIT, DEMYX!! WAS THAT NECESSARY?!?!" Axel pulled himself up as Xaras stared.

"Xaras, _this _is Demyx." A jabbed the boy in the forehead with his middle finger. "Most annoying creature on the planet."

"Aw, you don't mean that!"

"Unfortunately, I do."

Demyx stared at Xaras with curious aquamarine eyes. "You feeling better? You were pretty beat up when we found you."

Xaras's lips parted in surprise. "Found me?"

"Yeah! Axel and I found you! Didn't he tell you?"

"I was gettin' to that," snarled Axel. "Anyway, Xaldin and Saïx aren't around so I can't introduce you to them. Saïx is the Superior's personal ass-kisser. Xaldin is a cranky dude with dreads. And puh-_lease_ don't make fun of his sideburns, or he'll beat your butt. Words of experience. Commit 'em to memory."

"Can I tag along?" asked Demyx.

"No. We gotta go to Xaras's induction."

"But that isn't for another hour!"

"Just come back later, Demyx!"

Demyx sighed in defeat. "Okay," he said, trudging off towards the couch. Xaras couldn't help but feel a little sorry for him.

____

The "Hall Where Nothing Gathers" was a mammoth room occupied by thirteen thrones of varying heights. Xaras was standing in the middle of the floor, staring up at the hooded figures nervously. If she'd had a heart, it would have been fluttering like crazy.

_It's intimidating but it won't be long_, Axel had told her as they entered the room. _They'll just say your name, ask you a few questions, and I swear you in. No biggie._

The light chatter in the room ceased as Xemnas's cool voice announced, "Meeting in session." Everyone's attention turned to Xaras. Axel was right––the induction ceremony _was_ intimidating.

"Tonight we recognize admission of our newest member, Xaras, number XIV, whose Attribute and Proof of Existence will be explored over the course of the next month-"

_Proof of Existence_? Xaras thought to herself. _Why do I need to _prove_ my existence? Aren't I standing here?_ The idea troubled her.

"––And now, Xaras, number XIV, will be sworn in on this day of––"

"Xaras!" Axel poked her in the side. He motioned to Xemnas. "Pay attention––the oath is coming up."

After a few more words, Xemnas instructed Axel to execute the oath. The redhead turned to Xaras. "Put your right hand over your chest." She cupped her hand over where her heart once was.

"Repeat after me––_I, Xaras, do solemnly swear to serve this establishment to the best of my abilities_––"

She echoed him word for word until the last line of the oath. "––_I do realize that if I should commit treason against Organization XIII, I will be executed._"

_What?_

Axel cleared his throat and kicked her in the shin

.

"_OW!_"

Someone coughed back a chuckle.

"Xaras, the words!" Axel whispered.

"Oh….right. _I do realize that if I should commit treason against Organization XIII_…"

____

Xaras sat on the empty coach waiting for Axel to exit the meeting room. She felt rotten, not only for embarrassing her mentor, but…betrayal resulting in_ death_? To her it seemed much too extreme. What kind of crude cult was this?

She felt a warm hand on her shoulder. It was Axel. "Tired?" he said.

"A little. Hey, I'm sorry about messing up."

"No worries. The ceremony is always nerve-racking."

Axel led Xaras down the halls to a separate wing of the castle. The hallway was lined with numbered doors, each decorated (or left undecorated) to suit the occupant's taste. Axel stopped at door VIII.

"My room," he said. "You'll be staying in here till we fix you your own room, so make yourself at home."

Axel's room was decorated with a fire theme and several band posters. The bed was small but inviting. A wide window showed a perfect view of the outside world--a nighttime metropolis lit by a heart-shaped moon.

"So, you can have my bed-I don't mind sleeping on the floor. I'm gonna go hang out with the guys. See ya in a little bit. Don't go anywhere, 'kay?"

"Sure, thanks," said Xaras, smiling politely. Inside she felt guilty that Axel was giving his bed up, and disappointed that he was leaving her by herself.

"Well, then, toodles." The door clicked shut.

Xaras slipped into the pair of pajamas that had been left on Axel's bedside. She snuggled into the soft pillows and stared vacantly at the night sky.

In her mind she repeated three words until she drifted to sleep:

_"Proof of Existence."_


	4. Chapter 4

I was almost there  
Just a moment away from becoming unclear  
Ever get the feeling you're gone  
I'll show you the way, the way I'm going

So I run and hide and tell myself I'll  
I'll start again with a brand new name  
And eyes that see into infinity

I will disappear…

--30 Seconds to Mars, "Capricorn"

**Chapter IV**

Xaras gave a wide yawn and took a sip of coffee. She was in the café, eating a breakfast of bagels and Java with Axel.

"Did my snoring keep you awake last night?" Axel questioned. "You've got shadows under your eyes."

"No. I just had nightmares." She tried not to remember the disturbing dreams. Three times she'd been forced to relive the last moments of her past life.

Axel dipped his bagel into the coffee. "Wanna talk about it?"

"No."

"Understood. Anyway, here's our agenda for today: I'm supposed to help you find out what your Attribute is, then I've got to teach you to summon a weapon. After that, we'll come back here for lunch and come up with a Proof of Existence for you. Got it memorized?"

"Sure, but, what exactly _is _a Proof of Existence?"

"Just a nickname that describes you. Like, my Proof is the Flurry of Dancing Flames."

"That's it?" exclaimed Xaras. "I don't have to actually _prove_ that I exist?"

Axel snorted. "Hell no. It's just a lame way to reference yourself."

"Oh…."

He rose up and noisily pushed his chair under the table. "C'mon. We might as well get started."

Xaras discarded her trash and followed Axel into a darkness portal.

The portal led Xaras and her mentor to a sunlit clearing in a secluded forest. She observed the gorgeous scenery and said quietly, "Where _are_ we?"

"Just near a little city called Twilight Town. We hang out there, sometimes. So, do have any idea what your Attribute is?"

"Attribute?"

"Your element!" he huffed impatiently. "Have you been reading _any_ of that stuff Xemnas gave you?"

"No."

Axel rolled his eyes. "Well that's your homework. Now, since you apparently don't know what your Attribute is, I'll have to provoke you in order to find out." Flames shot from his fingers and formed two large Chakrams in his hands.

Xaras stepped backward in fear. "Provoke me?"

"DEFEND YOURSELF!!" A flaming Chakram whizzed past her, almost slicing through her arm.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Xaras screeched at Axel, dodging the Chakram as it boomeranged back to him.

Axel ignored her. Instead, he charged towards Xaras, twirling his Chakrams in blurred circles. She threw her hands up to defend herself.

All at once, a geyser of water fountained out of the ground. It hit Axel square in the face and threw him ten feet backwards. He sputtered a violent curse. His normally spiky hair had been flattened against his head. He stomped over to Xaras and grabbed her by the collar.

"What was that for?!" He glowered at her.

"You fucking tried to kill me!!" Xaras snapped.

"I was _not_ trying to kill you! I was trying to make you use your Attribute."

"Well, I used it, didn't I?" she replied coolly.

Axel let her go, grumbling incoherently. With a flash of flame, his clothes were dried and his hair in its normal position.

"Okay, fair enough," he said, still scowling. "We have the Attribute–water. On to Lesson Two. I need you to focus on your hand and summon your weapon. And, yes, I know, _you don't know what your weapon is_," he mocked in a whiney voice. He closed his eyes and re-summoned his Chakram. "Just concentrate. The weapon will choose you."

Xaras was peeved at him for mocking her but followed his instructions. She focused all her energy on the palm of her hand. With a sudden burst of water, an odd contraption materialized in her right hand.

It looked like a large black and blue gun, only instead of a barrel, there was a tank inscribed with the Nobody symbol.

Axel stifled a laugh. "Wow. A pump action water gun. Now, _that's _what I call unique."

"Bite. Me."

"Such language!" Axel smirked. "Very unbecoming of a young lady like yourself."

Xaras angrily pumped the gun and fired it at Axel's hair. Three liquid spheres shot through his hair, flattening it again.

"Dammit, Xaras!!" Axel yowled. "My hairrrr!"

–––

Axel gave his sea-salt ice cream stick a ferocious lick. "Don't do that again," he warned.

"Sure." Xaras smirked at him. They were in the café now, brainstorming ideas for Xaras's Proof and eating sea-salt ice cream (which she thought was disgusting).

"Okay….erm, how about…the….Tsunami?" Xaras asked. She was really having trouble coming up with a name for herself.

"Nah. Too boring. How about––"

"Axel! Wazzup, man?" A thin hand slapped Axel on the back, almost knocking him over. It was Xigbar, the older member with the eye-patch. Xaras only then noticed a long scar running from his left eye to his chin.

"Whatcha doing with the newbie? Playing tic-tac-toe?" Xigbar chuckled.

"No," said Axel. "Brainstorming for the POE."

"Oh, really? Scoot over, chick. I'm bored." The tall figure sat down next to her. Although he was quite a frightening sight to behold, Xaras's instincts insisted that he wasn't a danger to her.

"My Proof is the 'Freeshooter.' Hey, did Axel tell his POE? The Flurry of Dancing Flames. Isn't that gay?"

Axel flipped him off. Xigbar didn't notice. "So what's yer Attribute?" he asked her.

"Water," she said in confident tone. It felt good to know what she was talking about, for once.

"Cool," he replied. "Weapon?"

Before she could answer, Axel interrupted. "Aw, Xig, you're gonna love this. She's got a _water gun_."

"A gun? Hey, that's my thing!" He ruffled Xaras's hair. "Guess that means you get to be my mini-me?"

"She's got the black and white stripes, too! We can call her the _Pea_-shooter!" She frowned at Axel and rubbed the white stripe that went down her hair part.

Xigbar cackled. "No. She's only got one stripe. I know, let's call her Skunk Head. Huh? Huh?" He nudged her in the ribs (in her right side, luckily).

"_No_," she grumbled.

"No?" Axel sighed in disappointment and finished off his ice cream. "It would have been perfect. Oh well. Hey, I know! How about the Liquidy Assassin?"

Xigbar scoffed. "Stupid. Besides, Marluxia's taken the 'assassin' title."

"The Ocean Soul?"

"You trying to get us sued by Nightwish?"

"Well, then let's see you think of something better!"

The gunman examined Xaras from head to toe. He scratched the back of his head. "Hmmm. The Aggressive Small-fry."

Axel laughed. "No! No! I got it–the _Wet Maiden_!!"

Xigbar almost fell out of the booth. He banged the table with his fist, roaring with laughter. "OHGODOHGODSTOPITICANTBREATHE!!!"

Xaras felt her face turn beet-red. "You both can kiss my ass," she said.

Axel wiped the tears off his face. "Oh, man, we're just playin'! Okay, okay, we'll stop, but I deserved a laugh after you screwed up my hair."

"Oh boo-hoo."

"The Sarcastic Mermaid!" chimed Axel.

"Are you ever going to let me try? It is _my _Proof."

"Okay, go for it," said Xigbar.

Xaras closed her eyes. She tried to think of the words that might describe herself best. But, being that she was only a few days old, she couldn't say she knew herself very well.

"I've got it," she said after a few minutes.

"What?" Axel asked.

"The Obscure Aquatic."

"The Obscure Aquatic?" He raised an eyebrow.

Xigbar nodded, impressed. "I like it."

"It's too emo," said Axel.

Xaras stuck out her tongue at him.

"I guess it'll have to do for now. This is taking us _wayyyy_ too long."


	5. Chapter 5

Bang!

Explosions in my head that just won't quit

A train has crashed through the wall

Around my heart and left the old me dead

Obliterated…

Boom!

Take away the pain of being me

Soothe my soul, caress my heart

And end my fear, all my bad memories

Eradicated…

––Atreyu, "Two Become One"

**Chapter V**

_She watched in silence as her mother and father hollered at each other. Her mother was trying to talk some sense into him, but he constantly interrupted her. Everytime she tried to bring up how much he was hurting their family, he would raise his voice and change the subject to focus on all the "wrong" things that had been done to him._

_"I was put in jail because a redneck state trooper didn't like me!"_

_"Hugh! –––– doesn't need to hear your negative ranting! Will you stop and listen to me for just a minute?"_

_He lurched forward, coming dangerously close to her mother. Anger, fear, and hatred pulsed through the girl's veins. She leapt between them. "Step back," she said to the man she'd been forced to call "father." She glared into his insane bloodshot eyes. _

_"Well, Gale, I'm going leave, because I don't want –––– to have to deal with us fighting. _

––––_, I'm sorry that your mother and I don't get along. Goodnight and God bless you." He slammed the door behind him. _

_Her mother exhaled._

_"Shit! 'God bless you'?" repeated the girl. "Where does he get such fucking nerve? Why does he always say that right after he rips out our hearts and throws them on the floor?! Dammit, I _hate_ him!" She inhaled shakily, trying to calm the fire that burned in her chest. _

_"I'm sorry, bubbe," said her mom. "I shouldn't have let him in."_

_"What are you apologizing for?! It's not your fault!"_

_It was __**his**__ fault. __**All**__his fault. He was the reason for her rage. He was the reason for her pain. He was the reason for her broken family._

"Xaras! Hey, Xaras, get up!"

The left side of her torso throbbed in protest. She pulled a pillow over her head and slurred, "Dun wanna."

"Wakey-wakey!" Axel grabbed one of her feet and dragged her off the bed.

Xaras reluctantly pulled herself up and rubbed her eyes. A blurry Axel threw her organization coat on the bed. "Hurry! You gotta train with Xigbar in half an hour."

"Muthafriguckinfruckziigibarblueberry."

"Uh huh. Not much of a morning person are we? I'll step out while you get dressed."

Xaras chanted obscenities as she dressed, still trying to shake off her bizarre dream. As she turned to the mirror to try and make herself more presentable, she screamed.

An alarmed Axel jolted in the room. "What? What's wrong?"

She gaped in horror at her reflection. Her eyes…

"A-Axel!…my irises…they're…._RED_!"

He raised a skeptical eyebrow. "Yeah? So?"

"They aren't usually red, are they?"

"Sure they are. But when the light hits your eyes a certain way, they look brownish. That's probably why you didn't notice before."

"Oh……."

"You ready?"

"Just a few more minutes…"

–––

Axel took Xaras to the same forest from yesterday and left her with Xigbar. The Freeshooter had spaced several targets throughout the clearing.

"Good morning, little dudette!" he said.

"Mornin'."

"Bad night?"

"Yeah."

"Well, I don't plan to keep you long, anyway. Soon as you get the hang of your aim, we'll be through. You look like you know what you're doing. Am I right?"

"I guess."

Xigbar spread out his hands and summoned a bizarre pair of what he called "Gun Arrows." He loaded one of them with a glowing bullet of energy, twirled the weapon in the air, and fired. The bullet pierced through the center of a nearby target.

"Think you can do that?"

"No," Xaras stated matter-of-factly.

"Go on. Give it a shot."

Xaras loaded her water gun, aimed, and missed the target completely.

"Nice." Xigbar chuckled. "Try again."

Five shots later, Xaras hit the bull's eye.

"There you go, you're gettin' it! Try the second one." He pointed to another target 20 feet away.

Xaras held the scope to her face, concentrated hard on the bull's eye, and fired. The liquid bullet hit dead center and knocked the target over.

"Pretty good for a mid-morning zombie," Xigbar teased. Xaras rolled her eyes but smiled slightly.

She hit the next two targets with only a couple of misses. She gawked at the last target–it had to have been at least 150 yards away. She could barely even see it.

"You're kidding me," she exclaimed. She wiped her sweaty forehead on her cloak sleeve.

"It won't take you long to hit it."

She stared down the scope and tried to focus on the target. _There is no way in hell I'm gonna even _hit_ that thing, much less the center point. _After accepting the fact that she was probably going to be working at this till sundown, she closed her eyes and squeezed the trigger. She heard a small _thunk _in the distance.

"I hit a tree, didn't I?"

She glanced up at Xigbar. He was grinning broadly. "Nope, dead center, kid!"

"_What?_ How the hell did I do that?" She stared at the gun in disbelief.

"I dunno, but congrats! You're finished for the day!"

–––

Xaras sat alone in the café, reading "Mysteries of the Heart." Xigbar, after quickly teaching her to create a darkness portal, advised her to go to Axel's room and get some sleep. However, Xaras didn't feel like facing anymore of those trippy, detached dreams, so she bought some coffee and tried to force her eyes to stay open.

"Nobodies are creatures without hearts," she read. "In essence, when a creature loses its heart to the darkness, the dark heart becomes a Heartless. The original body is left behind and is reborn as a Nobody in the In-Between realm. Nobodies can plan and attack, unlike the Heartless who attack instinctively. Most Nobodies assume a malformed appearance when born (the most common is the white "Dusk"); however, those who once owned strong hearts keep human form.

Nobodies are of neither light nor darkness; they are "nothings" that exist in spite of all odds, and because they lack hearts, they are not capable of feeling human emotions…."

–––

_She was in the library, registering for her college courses, when her dad walked in behind her. Sinced he'd learned of her weekly trips to the library, he'd made a habit of showing up every day to look for her._

_"Hey, –––––." He sat down beside her._

_"You're in someone else's seat," she whispered coldly._

_"Oh? Well, they can wait. Stop what you're doing. You wanna know why I left? You wanna know what I've been through?"_

_CRAP, here he goes again with his selfish delusional bullshit! She thought to herself. Why does he ALWAYS have to ambush me here?_

_"Not now, dad. I'm busy. And we're in a public library."_

_"Just stop what you're doing and listen." He made no effort to keep his voice low. The librarian stared at them._

_"Dad, leave me alone!" the girl hissed. _

_He arose and stomped off, leaving the scent of cigarettes and coffee behind him. As soon as she'd calmed down and refocused on the computer, he was back. _

_They repeated the process at least three more times before he gave her a letter and told her to read. It was hastily written on a sheet of grease-stained orange paper. "I don't wanna," she said. His nostrils flared. He threw the letter at her and walked away._

"Hey. You. Skunkhead."

A finger poked her in the shoulder. Xaras lifted her head off the table, blinking groggily. Axel was standing over her.

"Have a nap?" he asked teasingly.

She pulled her hair out of her face. "Mrmph."

"Well, sorry to bother you," he started, "but _Demyx_ told _me_ to tell _you_ that he's supposed to help you train your water-fighting skills tomorrow. One o' clock sharp. Got it memorized"

"Yes. And _don't_ call me Skunkhead. _Got it memorized_?" She winced at the ache in her side and rubbed her eyes.

"You okay?"

"Yeah. My eyes just itch. I should get more sleep."

Axel sat down in front of her. "You're healing, too, so that probably takes a lot out of you."

"Yeah," she agreed. She touched her sore chest and sighed. "But….."

"….What?"

"….I don't like to sleep. Nightmares."

"Yeah. You talk in your sleep a lot. What do you dream about?"

She shifted uncomfortably in her seat. "Stupid stuff."

"It's cool. You don't have to talk about it."

"No…I mean, it's really confusing. There's this girl…" She stopped for a moment. The realization hit her that the girl reminded her of herself. "She looks kinda like me…only with brown hair instead of black and white. I don't even know her name, 'cause everytime someone says it, no sound comes out. Anyway, she's mad at her father because he's hurt her family someway….and he keeps messing with her…. I dunno, it's really dumb and pointless."

Axel's eyes shone with recognition. "Oh, yeah. Sounds like visions of your Somebody's memories."

"My…_what_? Somebody? You mean…the _old_ me?"

"Yeah. I used to have dreams about some dude who looked like me. Most of us do at some point."

"Oh…" This news disturbed her. Visions of her past life? They weren't at all pleasant. She wished the bizarre, vague visions would stop hassling her. It would be nice to have dreams that actually gave her answers to her questions.

She sighed and return to her book.

Axel got up from his seat and said, "Hey, I should get going anyway. I promised Demy I would play _Rock Group_ with him."

"Okay…See you later."

"Sure."

Xaras watched him walk off. Snapping out of her stupor, she found her place in the book and continued to read:

"There are many secluded worlds and sub-worlds in the universe, but only three of them are known to lie in an In-Between realm: Castle Oblivion, The World that Never Was, and Twilight Town."

Her wounds throbbed angrily.


	6. Chapter 6

When clouds are covering the sky  
I can't help thinking what's behind  
In a fading evening  
I can feel strange thoughts in my mind  
What if we aren't alone here?  
There's a clone of everyone somewhere  
That duplicates all that we do  
Not like me, not like you, but our other ego

–-Stratovarius, "Eternity"

**Chapter VI**

_Outside the library and away from prying eyes, the girl sat on a bench and opened up the letter her father had thrown her. She'd been tempted to rip it up, but wanted to be able to say she'd at least tried to listen to him._

_She squinted at the messy handwriting and tried to make out the words:_

_"My dearest ––––,_

_Since you are too busy with your computer to talk to me, I am writing to you._

_I am sorry your mother and I can't get along. It is my fate to follow my music. I have started a band called 'Deviant Dads.' Jake lets us play at his coffee shop. We play Evanescence and Bob Dylan and sometimes Creed. Maybe one day I'll get you a guitar and you can join us. I have been studying Evanescence lyrics so we can play some Amy Lee. I am saving up the money so one day, Y**W** willing, we can go to Hollow Bastion and visit grandma. _

_By the way, Happy Anniversary. I have it marked on the calendar–when you had surgery. _

_I know you are upset I left but I can't sit around getting old and reading books. I wish your mother would get help and see a therapist. And yes, I HAVE BEEN TAKING MY MEDS; I get my prescriptions from Dr. Spitler. _

_––––, it really upsets me that you don't want to talk to me. I haven't done anything to you. You're an artist––you should understand that I have to follow my music. Remember three years ago? You were on your bedroom floor and you said, 'Daddy, am I going to die?' And I said 'No,' and you lived. If you need proof that I love you, there is your proof. _

_You're Jewish. Jews are not supposed to hate so why do you claim to hate me? Tell the rabbi that you hate your father and see what he says._

_I love you and God does too_

––_your father"_

_She stared numbly at the brickwork of the library patio, ripped up the letter, and trashed it. _

A rough hand shook her out of the nightmare. She jolted awake and gasped. Her healing wound screamed in protest and she stifled a moan.

Axel's face was only a few inches from hers. "You were yelling in your sleep," he said. His face showed no emotion, but Xaras could tell by the tone of his voice that he was concerned.

"I'm…I'm okay." She touched her face and was surprised to find it wet.

"Are you _crying_?" Axel exclaimed in disbelief.

"No," she lied. "I think I was just sweating in my sleep."

"Oh." Axel no longer looked worried.

"…Axel?"

"Yeah?"

"Do the dreams…you know, about your Somebody…do they ever go away?"

"Eventually. I mean, I have dreams about the old me sometimes, but only once in a blue moon."

Xaras glared at the mattress. "I'm really starting to dislike my Somebody."

Axel laughed. "Hey, it's not your Somebody's fault. Whoever took her heart is to blame, not her. Got it memorized?"

"I guess."

____

She met Demyx at the forest clearing after showering and scarfing down her breakfast/lunch. The blonde teen was bursting with energy and even though Xaras was tired and troubled by her nightmare, she couldn't help but feel encouraged by his optimism.

"Okay," said Demyx, getting straight to the point. "Basically, all ya hafta do to manipulate water is concentrate on the element and let your mind _tell _it what to do. I know, I know, it sounds stupid, but it's really neat. Watch this!"

Water materialized and gathered into his hand as he summoned a blue Sitar, which Xaras assumed was his weapon. As he performed a soft melody on his sitar, water spouted out of the ground. "Dance water, dance!" he chimed. The torrents of water gathered to form spinning musical notes and doppelgangers of himself. When he stopped playing, the water forms vanished.

Xaras's mouth hung open. "Whoa."

"Isn't it awesome though?"

"Yeah. But if you expect me to be able to do all that, you will be sorely disappointed."

Demyx threw his arm over her shoulder and shook his head. "No-no-no. I want you to do your own thing! And let me tell you, it won't be perfect. It took a lot of practice for me to be able to do that, and I'm not really even that strong a fighter."

"Probably stronger than me." Xaras summoned her water gun. She began to randomly shoot her water bullets at the trees. As she stopped to reload, she thought of the geyser she'd used to smack Axel in the face. She smirked.

A geyser struck the last tree she'd hit. When she was ready to shoot again, the geyser's force lessened. She sent a stream of bullets to the same tree.

Demyx applauded when she finished her move. "Clever strategy! Soak 'em to the core 'til they can't take any more!"

"Nice rhyme," grinned Xaras. "I was thinking more along the lines of 'Die motherfucker die.' Same concept, though."

Demyx flashed her a thumbs up. "Nice! Straight from the heart!"

"I thought Nobodies didn't have hearts."

"Psht. Whatever. I think that's a buncha baloney. If I don't have a heart, then what makes me laugh at jokes? Why do I feel sad sometimes? Why do I get ticked off when Axel makes fun of my hair?"

Xaras smiled and laughed. "Aw, poor Demyx."

"See!" He pointed a finger at her. "You laughed! What made you laugh?"

"You."

"No." He pointed to her chest. "Even if it's only a little piece, we all have to have a little bit of heart, you dig me? I mean, Nobodies are people, too."

Xaras cupped her hand over where he had pointed. For some reason, his words moved her, gave her hope. She looked up at him and grinned. He grinned back but his face quickly became serious.

"Anyway, what I just said? Don't repeat it to anyone. I'll get in trouble."

"I won't. But why would you get in trouble?"

He rolled his aquamarine eyes. "'Cause it's going against Xemnas's theology and 'might create chaos within the Organization.' That's what Axel told me."

"That's stupid."

Demyx eyes suddenly brightened. "But…you know what's not stupid? Ice cream! Wanna go into Twilight Town and get some?"

"That sounds awesome," said Xaras. Practicing her fighting skills had heated up her body temperature. She dismissed her weapon and followed Demyx.

___

The residents of Twilight Town gave Demyx and Xaras suspicious stares.

"Um…shouldn't we change into something less conspicuous?" asked Xaras.

"Nah. They've seen Organization members before. They can deal with it."

Demyx stopped at an ice cream stand and bought two ice creams–a sea salt bar for himself, and a chocolate cone for Xaras. They took the elevator to the top of the city's clock tower. They sat on the railing and watched the sunset as they ate.

"How can you stand that stuff?" Xaras pointed to the bluish bar of sea salt ice cream.

"Are you kidding? It's great!" Demyx gave the ice cream an affectionate lick. After finishing it off, he began to hum absent-mindedly.

"What kind of music do you listen to?" he asked Xaras.

Xaras thought for a moment. Although she couldn't remember much else about her past life, she _did _recall that she'd loved music. A few random names even came to mind: Nightwish, Atreyu, A Perfect Circle, Metallica, System of a Down, HIM…. She repeated the names out loud to Demyx.

"Awesome!" he exclaimed. "HIM's gotta be one of my favorite bands. Especially, 'Circle of Fear.' That song's awesome."

"…Can you play it for me? I can't really remember what any of these bands sound like."

"Sure!" Demyx swiftly summoned his Sitar and began to play a light tune on it. The longer he played, the more Xaras began to remember about her past self's other personal tastes. She became lost in her mind as Demyx continued to play….

She knew the song–it was one of her favorites. She'd loved a wide variety of music, from metal to rap. Her favorite band had been Nightwish. She was a fan of Asian food. She was always trying to make others laugh, had a wild imagination, and was very individualistic. She loved anime and was a talented artist. She'd even been planning to study art in college and write a graphic novel…that is before…

"Hellooooo! Earth to Xaras!" A blurry hand waved in her face, jerking her out of the trance.

"Oh, sorry, Demyx," she said. "I kind of had a flash back."

"Flash back? Oh! About your other? You've been having those?"

"Yeah…" Demyx dismissed his sitar and concentrated on Xaras as she told him about the nightmares. He looked genuinely interested in her memories.

"That's crazy," said Demyx. "But yeah, we all get those. It sucks." He rubbed the back of his neck. Xaras wondered if he was thinking about his own past life. What could have made a cheery guy like Demyx lose his heart?

"By the way," she added, smiling, "When I spaced out just then, I remembered that 'Circle of Fear' was actually one of my favorite songs."

"Really? Neat-o! You seem to have good taste in music."

"Heh…thanks."

She could feel Demyx staring at her. It made her feel awkward. She was trying to make herself remember more about her other when Demyx said, "You have cool eyes."

The compliment stunned Xaras. "Really? Don't they scare you?"

"What? No. They're neat." Demyx put his hands behind his head and leaned back. "See, I've got blue eyes and so do, like, four other members. There are green, purple, brown, and the ever-present gold, but no one has red eyes. That makes you special, see?"

She gave a small smile. "Thanks, but I still think they're hideous."

He jabbed a stern finger in her face. "Stop putin' yourself down, or I'll buy some sea-salt ice cream and FORCE you to eat it!"

She made a gagging noise and pretended to cower in fear. "Oh, no! How scary! Fine, I'll stop."

The two Nobodies almost fell off the railing when the clock tower suddenly struck six o' clock.

"Damn, do they make it loud enough?!" Xaras hollered, hands clasped over her ears.

"Six?!" Demyx pulled himself onto the ground. "Crap, time flies when you're doing absolutely nothing! Oh well…" He whipped up a darkness portal. "C'mon, Xaras….Xaras?"

Fire ripped through her chest. She kneeled over, gasping.


End file.
